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xovrall

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Happy Reformation Day! [Okt. 31., 2008|05:37 pm]
xovrall
It is Reformation Day, as well as Día de los Muertos. I don't have much in particular to say, but I think these are important holidays, so I'll mention something. I actually wasn't sure for a while how I felt about Día de los Muertos. We celebrated it in chapel at TLU, and I found the skeletons and some other aspects of it a little creepy and, well, Catholic. It has grown on me a lot lately, and I do remember appreciating it a bit more last year because that was right after a friend of mine from high school was killed in a motorcycle accident. I am finding these things a better expression than our Halloween, where people just dress up and act like idiots. At work before I left today one of my coworkers was talking about closing the outside garden area around 6 and also having to do some other precautionary stuff because there is a greater fear of being robbed. I don't know that I would have thought of that. I was intrigued. These two holidays seem to me to have more meaning than Halloween, and I haven't been big on holidays in a long time because they seemed so devoid of any real meaning. I'm a deep kind of person, I guess, so I like things to be meaningful. So I celebrate those souls who have lived and died before me, and I celebrate Martin Luther and his challenges to theology and the church that we still have work in today.
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Deutschland [Okt. 3., 2008|02:35 pm]
xovrall
The intro page tells me today is the day of German Unity when East and West Germany were reunited in 1990 (if I'm not mistaken the wall came down in Nov. of 89). So I felt I needed to write something here in honor of that. I actually just got all my Europe photos printed, and put them in an album yesterday, and need to just caption them now. Berlin was one of my favorite cities that I visited. I also set my facebook language to German (everyone else seemed to be setting theirs to Pirate so I figured I wanted to change mine too). With the job I have now I am probably as or more exposed to the Spanish language as I ever have been, which is nice, although I still wish I could speak it better. I sometimes feel I neglect my German, however, so it's nice to have reminders. I still find myself thinking things in German at times, so that is comforting. It's kind of weird, really, I feel a bit like I have language compartments in my mind or something. I mean, some thoughts or items have an immediate association in either English, German, or Spanish, and I have to make conscious effort to switch the language. Not sure that makes sense, but I find it interesting. I know it comes from habituation, some of which was a conscious effort on my part and some not. So long live culture, long live Germanity (it's a word now) und dem Vaterland.
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blessings...? [Sep. 19., 2008|05:24 pm]
xovrall
So, I am beginning to wonder if my life is really gonna always be difficult, and I am also wondering if grace/blessings must only come in association with 'near death' experiences. I don't really think they do, but today did cause me some wonder. I was driving home from work down 123, and there was a car in the left hand lane slowed to turn, and the car behind that was not at all far in front of me, and I am realizing this, and wondering if the car is thinking about moving over in front of me, but I am getting closer to this car, so I can now see the older woman driver glance into her rearview mirror, and I hesitate because I think she might move over, and then she doesn't, so I don't slow and assume she's staying in her lane, when suddenly she does start to move over as I am practically right behind her and moving faster than she is, so I swerve away from her and the right side of my car leaves the pavement, so I am suddenly swerving the other way, and swerving again as I'm trying to regain control, and at one point am practically sliding sideways and partially in the grass and I can see one of the road signs getting larger and closer and I'm thinking if I only I don't hit it, and I miss it, until I do finally regain control. I almost keep driving but then realize I should probably make sure nothing is wrong, which was a good idea b/c my front passenger tire had popped loose. I don't think the woman ever saw me, no one stopped, and I was immensely fortunate that no one was right behind me, that I didn't hit anything, and that I managed to stay upright and regain control. I do not know at what point the cruise control came off, and whether that was something I did or the car did, nor do I know if I used the brake much, or the accelerator. I only know that I was suddenly steering with all concentration, amazed at how out of control that felt, and thinking I can't hit anything or flip over. It was mostly an intuitive steering, and quite possibly a hand of grace involved. When I pulled over I got out, walked around my car (which had grass prints from the tall grass on the side of the road) and saw the front tire was flat. I was fortunately right by a driveway to an LCRA power station, so I backed into that so as not to be so close to the road. I called Jessica because I didn't know what else to do. She called Kevin the Game Warden friend, and he called me to ask where I was, and said he was on his way. He came out, and Jess wasn't far behind him. He came in uniform and Game Warden truck. He's changed a lot of tires in his career, so he got started right away and it didn't take him long to put my spare on. He also asked me if I asked Jesus to take the wheel...ha. I was sort of in shock, and detached a bit, but he was really nice about it all and helpful and he's a good guy, and then he took me to get the other tire fixed and b/c he knew the guy that ran the place they didn't charge me, which was even nicer of him. So that's all done with, and I'm extremely fortunate that I didn't have an actual accident, and I'm fairly certain that that is how many people do end up in accidents. So yea, apparently I am blessed in some fashion for that turning out as well as it did and for having good help, life just wears me out sometimes. That's my story.
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taking time [Mär. 19., 2008|10:54 pm]
xovrall
Well, I'm waiting on James to finish writing something so I can proof it for him so I figured I'd write in here since i'm through playing on facebook. So much for that last bit about $3.01 for gasoline, I've paid $3.15 now, and who knows what it'll be in another couple of days. Ugh. It's hard to believe gasoline has gone up so much in about 10 years or less. Anyway. Not much I can do but complain. Ha.
In other news, I got my mini diploma from TLU today, which was exciting just b/c it looks cool, even if I don't really ever use it for much else. I also was told today that I will start working all the time in customer service from 8-5 I think she said M-F, so I can only hope, I guess, that that is the case, although I might miss working other places, but it will be nice to have a regular schedule that also kind of matches the schedules of most of the other people I have regular non-work contact with. I also borrowed a copy of Dr. R-J's book and have read it the past couple of days over lunch, and one more day ought to pretty much finish it out, and I'm glad I went ahead and started reading it. I haven't yet decided where I want to purchase it, whether I should patron TLU bookstore, or go through Amazon where it's cheaper and if I go to it through a link on the website for the group my therapist works for they get a percentage of sales. But I shall buy it, someday, somewhere. In the meantime, though, I am glad I have started reading it. Some of the things I can totally hear him saying, and some of the stories I have already heard, but it's a good read, albeit short. I am still working on reconciling some of my thoughts and questions about God, but maybe that will come in time.
I am not quite sure what to do with Lowe's either (and I am often amazed at how many people can't spell it when they write checks). I don't want to work there the rest of my life, but I need income and insurance, and it provides both, and it was looking like it wasn't going to be working out so well, I was only scheduled for 29 hours this week, but then today Donna mentioned the 8-5 customer service thing, and I wonder if that has something to do with her wanting me to become a head cashier in a few months, which I would hope would mean a pay raise. Part of me wishes it weren't going to work that way b/c I don't want it, but then part of me thinks maybe this is a good thing, and it will provide some stability and more chances to get involved at church and see where else i want to go with my life and school and such. (plus I get a little tired of ppl in my checkout lines acting like I'm a failure at life for having a college degree and being at Lowe's and they don't even know me) But I guess I'll just keep at it and wait for some better job to fall out of the sky on me, since the normal way of finding one doesn't seem to be working.
But now I have to proofread and I want a pickle, so I'll leave here.
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historic moment [Mär. 2., 2008|01:22 pm]
xovrall
[Aktuelle Stimmung |confusedconfused]

Well, it's official, I have now paid 3 dollars a gallon for gasoline. I put it off as long as I could, but it was inevitable. Actually it was 3.01. Bah. The place that's generally the cheapest around here, just north of New Braunfels on 35, has been 2.99 but today on my way home from church it was 3.01, and it might be cheaper in Seguin by a couple of pennies but I don't go to Seguin that often anymore, and just to make a trip for gas means it would probably be more expensive anyway. So there we have it, something I never imagined when I started driving, and it's only going to go up I imagine. It slowly eats away at my disposable income. Which, it is occurring to me, is a lot smaller than I first anticipated. Sigh. I guess this blue collar type stuff is a good experience, and I'm really not in dire straits by any means.
I'm not content. Oh well, that's a long story for some other time, perhaps.
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itunes and life [Feb. 27., 2008|10:14 pm]
xovrall
[Aktuelle Stimmung |confusedconfused]
[Aktuelle Musik |jess's itunes]

So, I finally jumped on that bandwagon and got itunes, and so far I love it, especially since I can also listen to Jess's music since we share an internet connection. It's pretty sweet. And I'm listening right now. I worked from 7-4 today, earliest shift I've worked yet. I had to get up at 5:45. I'd say it's been forever since I've been up that early, but actually my dad got us all up I think earlier than that over this past Thanksgiving...anyway. I recently was asked to help do office work at church, so today after work I went up there and sorted last year's bulletins to be filed, and just got to spend some time in the same room as PL and in a church, it was nice. Also this morning my boss (one of the many...), the dept manager of the front end, or the cashiers, asked me if I would possibly be interested in being a head cahier in a few months b/c some positions will be opening then, and she told me to think about it. In some ways the prospect is a bit intriguing, b/c it would probably mean a pay raise, and maybe some variety to my work and such, but at the same time, it's not something I should do if I'm not going to be there that long. The problem is, I really have no where else to go right now. And I know things change, and I can only imagine what some will say if I'm still working at Lowe's in another couple of years but have a bachelor's degree. I doubt it's what I'm made to do, but I just don't know anymore. Faith, God, and religion are not what they used to be to me, and I really don't know what they mean for me anymore. I have had many thoughts about it, most of which can't even really be put into words, it's so complicated and hard to understand. I really don't know what to do with things, although I'm beginning to live and it's kind of nice. I do lose track of what day it is though. So yea, that's my update for now.
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hmm [Jan. 30., 2008|08:50 pm]
xovrall
[Aktuelle Stimmung |hopefulhopeful]

Well, today at work has been the best yet, I think, though I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say it was awesome or anything like that...ha. But it might not kill me after all, which is nice. And I think my computer is going to behave for the time being, I hope. I reinstalled my two messenger programs and several drivers (I probably didn't need to do all those drivers, but I must have missed the part where I could select) so my mousepad is actually doing what I want it to do again. Sigh. Technology and such, so nice when it works, so annoying when it doesn't. Makes life easier or harder, depending on its mood. Alas. But the people I work with seem nice, and I think I should get Sunday mornings off so I can go to church, so that's nice too. Now that I might feel like meeting God again, it will be nice to not have to skip every other week. I hope. It's so not worth it anymore to say much is certain; it's just so hard to have certainties these days. So we'll continue to see where life leads us and hope it doesn't kill me first. I cut my hair again last night too, I like it shorter and crazy as opposed to longer and crazy, though I think my hair will always be crazy. It has a mind of it's own...guess it suits me. Oh, and my favorite part of the day is when one of my new coworkers (she started training with me) was asking me if I was taking any classes, and when I told her I graduated she asked what my degree was and when I said BA in theology but qualified that with being kind of worthless she said no it wasn't and was rather adament about it being worth something and I was very grateful b/c a lot of people do act like it isn't worth much. So I thought that was nice, and it was probably the best thing about my day. Ok, that's all, I don't have much of great importance to say, later.
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aha! and today's update [Jan. 25., 2008|08:09 pm]
xovrall
[Aktuelle Stimmung |okayokay]

Jess and I just figured it out, I'm so proud. The French stole all the Czechs' vowels! That explains why French has so many and Czech has so few. It all makes sense now...
In other news, (which is such a fun phrase, I think) I survived my first day of work, which wasn't terribly exciting. It was just a day of training, and I have 3ish more depending on how quickly I get through everything. So I get to spend M-W sitting at a computer mostly, doing tutorials of sorts and taking tests. Today we watched a couple of videos that technically had important information, and the first one was short enough to hold attention, but the second was very long so I think I missed half of what they said. Plus it was a couple of dudes with droning type voices, not very good for holding attention, and little action to boot. Oh well. I shouldn't take everything so seriously anyway, I decided. Plus I asked the HR manager about my trip to Europe and she said I would have to take a leave of absence but did not look mortally offended or as if she wanted to throw me out by the boot, so I felt much better about that. Appears that it will be no big deal, then. Whew. I guess I shouldn't worry so much. I must say, it is very difficult to unlearn things you once learned subconsciously, especially when you don't really realize that you have learned them. The patience of fellow humans is much appreciated. So yea, I'm halfway through reading my orientation guide, which isn't quite as boring as I expected. Anyone know anything about 401(k)s and if they are worth it? I'm thinking at this point of unknowing probably not. But I will get health insurance, which is nice. I doubt I'll pick up dental and vision though, even though my teeth are not the best...I hate dentists. Well, I hate doctors in general but my teeth have always been not so great even when I had regular dentist appts, and they are less likely to pose a lifethreatening condition if basic oral hygiene is practiced regularly. Plus I can get eyecare without insurance and it probably isn't worth paying the premiums. My eyes aren't much good either, and hopefully they won't get any worse, if they ever lose correctibility I will be faced with the possibility of legal blindness, and that wouldn't be very exciting. But, all things in due time, no point worrying about it, as Matthew says, "sufficient for the day are it's own troubles." I must say I don't like that punctuation rule, it seems silly to put the period inside the quotes, but oh well, I don't get to make the rules. I'm still taking suggestions for story ideas if one ever occurs to anyone. =) Hope y'all are well. Peace.
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morgen [Jan. 24., 2008|10:46 pm]
xovrall
[Aktuelle Stimmung |anxiousanxious]

Tomorrow I go to Lowe's for my first day of training/work. I'm kind of excited, and a little scared. I forgot to mention my trip to Europe to them before, and hope they aren't mad about it, though if I have to cancel it so be it. I am glad I finally have a real job that seems to be in relatively the right place, and my God I want this to work, though I'm too scared to hope too much. I have been jaded, and seem to have jaded myself. Nick let me borrow a book today called How To Make Yourself Miserable, and it was enjoyable though a little too close to home on occasion. I want to believe God is working, and believe in God and faith, but I'm scared, so I'm trying to be patient. I am ashamed of being in one place for so long, but I kept denying so much, so I guess it's ok. As long as I don't stay here. I feel like I can't ask for enough prayer, but it seems silly to keep asking when someone's told you they're praying. I can't even totally express how I feel about things right now, so I imagine this is good, I almost can't believe I might be moving on, it's been so long. I can only hope, I guess.
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couldn't figure out what else to do with this... [Jan. 23., 2008|08:58 pm]
xovrall
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
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